so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
