I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
