yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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