What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
