this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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