then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
