That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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