i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
