when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
