Screwed.edu
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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