I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
