i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
