Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
