What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
