News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
