You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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