I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
