i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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