I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
