She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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