Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Sober January is a disaster.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
