it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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