i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
