the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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