dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
