You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
