just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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