Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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