We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
