your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
