I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
