I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No more Irish car bombs ever.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
