Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
