I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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