I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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