awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
