What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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