I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
