He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
