Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
