How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
