My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize