I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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