I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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