If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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