And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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