Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
