i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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