And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
