i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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