Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
