Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
