Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
