you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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