Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
