They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
