Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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