guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize