yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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