But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
